It feels like forever since I’ve sat down to write for our blog! So much has been happening over the last few months, and it looks like the last time I posted an article was over six weeks ago, and it’s been longer than that since you have posted. I came home this afternoon after a lunch meeting, and when I walked in the door, I realized there was nothing that I had to do. It’s been such a long time since I had that feeling.
I felt a real sense of relief, and a palpable energetic shift. I wondered what was happening in the stars, and so pulled out my Llewelyn’s 2019 guide and saw that Saturn stationed direct today, after having been in retrograde since April 29th. If you remember, that’s when I was in Hawaii and burned my hand. I did not even realize that Saturn was turning retrograde, but that was the very day that I was flying there, and it was there that all this drama that we’ve experienced really heated up. It was the energy of change, and while unpleasant, it was the necessary motivational force.
I remembered the Letter for 2019 that I posted back in January and the prayer for help to distance myself from relationships that were no longer serving. Well, the last of these went by the wayside yesterday with a final good-bye and good wishes for a long happy life apart from each other. I communicated with the last of these that it was time for us to go our separate ways and even though it was a little sad, everyone involved saw that we gained back our freedom by cutting the energetic cords. I feel so much lighter. And don’t get me wrong, I think the others involved in these relationships are just as happy to be rid of me as I am to be rid of them. It’s not the people involved who are bad, it’s being stuck in a relationship that does not work that causes the irritation.
This is the real key to peace that I am finding–that bad relationships can exist between good people. I am learning that when we are stuck in relationships that are not working, it’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming the other person. “Oh if so and so were not so stubborn, this would work out a lot better.” But really it’s not necessary to judge the other person. We can say simply that the relationship is not working, speak clearly about ending it or changing it, wish the other well, and move on with our lives. And don’t look back, less you turn to salt.
One of the things I have observed when people are in bad relationships, they grow frustrated and start speaking negatively about the other person. They tend to blame the other for the frustration and difficultly they experience, and so talk to other people, airing grievances. “So and so did x and y and z, and they are selfish and inconsiderate, and so I am justified in being angry and complaining.” Really this is not necessary. We can simply say that the relationship is not working and that we want to cut the ties.
The motivation for this process of untangling started almost exactly a year ago, on the night of St. Michael in late September 2018. There was a meeting that followed with about twelve people in attendance, that had a very toxic atmosphere. It was the last Stewards meeting of our old Church that we left finally this summer. And now every single person who was present at that meeting has gone their own way, and none of us are closely associated anymore. The very last hanger on ended yesterday. And the beautiful thing is that everyone involved has now moved on to the next stage in their lives. Sure there are a few hard feelings, and we are not all talking to each other, but really that’s ok too. This energy helps us all move on.
And so even though this has been difficult for me, and I experienced some hurt feelings in the process, today, when I got home, I felt so FREE. We have started our sweet very small spiritual community, which I think after the dust settles will have about seven to ten people in it. But that’s seven to ten people who really want to be there, instead of twenty to twenty five people who want different things and fight all the time. The irony of that was not something I enjoyed!
And from this little base we can grow in the right energy, wishing well to everyone else. “May all beings achieve their most intimate aspirations”
And so now we have come through to the other side of this process, and I am so looking forward to some time to ground and reestablish a balanced and healthy routine.
So all of this happened during the course of a Saturn Retrograde. I really want to spend a little time studying this, and with the Grand Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn coming December 21, 2020, this is a great time to study the Saturn Retrograde, which will happen again next year, just like every year.
So anyway Angelique, I’m super happy to be writing again, and even though this is kind of an off the cuff post, it’s a lot better than what I wrote while going through all this drama, which was NOTHING!
Peace Love Forgiveness