Diving Deep into the Heart

Dear Spencer, 

I’m so happy we connected over the phone yesterday! And thank you for your last share.  Wow, what a gnarly burn on your hand and yet, I’m stoked to hear of all the beautiful realizations you received from it.  I’m thankful for your positive attitude, seeing the silver lining and the wisdom which arose from this experience. 

A few weeks ago I signed up for an astrological course with Chani Nicholas on Love and Relationships.  I signed up for it because, as you know, my heart is ready for a true romantic partnership.  All of my closest friends are beginning to find their life partners and as I am a late bloomer, I still have yet to know who mine is.  

I received the course in my inbox last night, began watching them and dove into the relationship areas of my astrological chart.  Time flew by today, and I just realized I’ve spent the last four hours studying my 7th house- that of marriage, committed partnerships, business partnerships. Also where we meet our enemies, place of the other.  For in our most intimate relationships is also where we face our shadow side and that of the other as well. 

A side note and that which directly ties into this study of relationships is an understanding which arose through my current Equine Therapy Training..

Angelique, Abby and Angel! 👼 (three A’s 💛)

Each person has within them an inherent Feminine and Masculine energy.  The Feminine is connected to the heart, feelings, how we move through the world.  The Masculine is structure, organization, how we get things done.  When in harmony, we receive ideas, insights, passions through the feminine and the masculine is how we then execute.  

In my training I realize that I do not always trust and fully surrender to my Heart, the deep inner wisdom.  I allow my brain to think and execute at times pushing aside the whispers, the intuitions of how actually to move through my life.  And through this realization I have committed to working towards fully surrendering to the feminine within me.  Honoring her sacred knowings and allowing this to be my guiding force.  From there I am allowing my very intelligent and capable masculine side to help me to see these dreams to fruition, create the action steps and ways of manifestation. 

Tying this back to my course on Love and Relationships with Chani Nicholas and this current post.. 

My intuition told me to sign up for this course.  I knew that I would receive the actual course sometime in May yet I forgot the actual date and could not find the receipt in my email. 

Last Saturday we had a spiritual gathering for Mother’s Day.  I had a breakthrough in my singing voice opening, through learning how to open my heart, believe in myself and trust in something greater moving through me.  On Sunday, I woke up feeling a little off.  My friend Melissa and I went for a hike along the Greenbelt, where the rivers were flowing beautifully with all of the recent rain in Austin, TX.  We talked about a new relationship she is entering into.  And I spoke of my desire to meet someone.  She encouraged me to speak about the exact qualities of who I am calling in.  How I would like to feel with this person, the desired dynamics etc.  We ended my sitting on a rock with the sun shining on our faces and saying a prayer to the universe for me.  It felt so beautiful.  As we were walking back to the car I mentioned that I felt that I needed a deep cry.  And prayed for it.  

Yesterday, morning I awoke and remembered to allow the Mother to guide my everything, my thoughts, my actions, my prayers, align my day before my Equine Training later that afternoon.  As I was praying I found myself beginning to cry.  I cried from such a deep place within myself. Almost like itching a scratch that I couldn’t quite reach for ages.  After this cry I began to feel a little sickness in my throat and woke up feel it this morning.  I realize that I am mourning the trauma I have experienced in this life, healing the hurts and blocks that I have, all opening me to a true place of vulnerability. (Which I also realize is why I am writing this post so nonchalantly.  A few weeks ago I would have been mortified to share my process on here.)  

And of course, the feminine brought this course at the exact perfect moment. When I was ready to receive it.  

For I’m learning if we allow ourselves to surrender to life, there is no need for fear or worry.  Life moves through us and brings up exactly what we need to work on.  In this way we are able to move through life in rhythm, attuned, aligned and in flow. Yet, we also have to be willing to do the work, face what might not feel comfortable or a little scary.  Ultimately trusting we are safe and everything we need will be brought to us in perfect timing.

The course on Love and Relationships is focusing on the 5th and 7th houses in Astrology, the planet Venus, and Mars. 

The first house that Chani dives into is the 7th House (and is all that I will be talking about today) is that of committed partnerships, marriage, business partnerships and the other. 

My birthchart which I procured from www.astro.com!

Here is my personal chart at birth. (Can’t believe I’m sharing this!)

If you look at my 7th House placement, you will see that it is in the sign of Aries.  Aries is a fire sign, embodies an energy that is spontaneous, action oriented, inspired, illuminated, self-expressive, intuitively intelligent, creatively motivated, warm yet can lack sensitivity. 

In relation to Aries in my 7th house of partnerships, it means that in relationship I tend to find myself attracted to those that are fierce, courageous and stand up to situations in ways that I may be afraid to do so myself. 

Be aware that the 7th house shows the tendencies we have in relationships where we want others to embody these aspects for us, so that we do not have to actually do it for ourselves. 

The 7th house is angular- meaning an action, pivot, turning point and it is related to our first house, the ascendant (rising sign).  

My first house is in Libra.  Libra initiates relationships, wants to find balance, harmony, equality and justice, a charming, likable person that draws people towards them.  These are my natural tendencies.  

So I will likely call in someone with passion, someone who is good at navigating conflicts.  This is awesome.  Yet, I must ensure that I am not hiding behind or relying on the person to speak up for me. As this is where conflicts within our personal relationship can begin.  

Spence this is only beginning to scratch the surface of what I studied. 

As Aries rules my 7th house.  Aries is ruled by Mars.  In my chart Mars is in the 12th house.

The 12th House is the house of sorrow, loss, undoing, redemption through self realization, healing our own sorrow.   Also a place where you lose yourself, a letting go of the ego and a strong desire to merge with a divine source of energy.  Unconditional love and compassion, imagination and sensitivity. 

Through this study my partnerships in the lifetime are here to help me resolve my issues and discover my talents in my unconscious desires, hidden angers and in an ability to express them in healthy ways. To put words towards them, open my eyes to my unconscious ways of relating, being, doing, loving, expressing, and ultimately helping me to live out my dharma in this lifetime. 

Another aspect to throw into the mix is that I have the planet Jupiter in the 7th house.  Jupiter is the planet of expansion, abundance, spiritual insight and growth. Blessings are bestowed upon me through my personal relationships as they tend to be a source of abundance and opportunity.

This may all feel al little choppy, I definitely left out many details that I studied.  But this is me today.  I am not going to try to make it perfect. It feels good to just write and share this.  For I realize that when learning to express in a new way that isn’t comfortable, it might be awkward, maybe not flow so beautifully, etc.  I know that I could spend another hour, rewording, deleting, painting some pretty pictures.  Yet, I just want to be raw.  To post something. To share from my authentic heart.  And here it is! 

I hope you found somethings interesting or insightful Spence! Wishing you all the best and anyone else who has made it this far within the post! Thank you for being here on this journey with us. 

Best,
Angelique Marie 

2 thoughts on “Diving Deep into the Heart

  1. I love this post Angelique. It read very quickly. The advice about the feminine inspiration and masculine execution was helpful. I know what you mean about editing. Stephanie has a list of creative rules and one is “don’t edit while you are creating, these are two different processes.” This blog is not a book. Only people who want to read it will, and there is no need to change anything to please anyone. I love your raw authentic voice. I’d much rather read this true voice than polished editing. See you in Austin next weekend. Looks like we will be staying in the same house Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Spencer! Truly appreciate your words. And wowww I read this before meeting up with everyone last night for our community gathering and I was stoked! Heather and Trey confirmed this with me last night. My heart is touched. I feel it’s a gift from Hod that as I am preparing to move to Bahia, you and Steph get to be with the crew that shaped so much of my young adult years. Families coming together 💛💛🐎✨

      Liked by 1 person

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